From the looks of it, I'm gonna lose my job in the near future. The frustrating part, its not about performances, but rather the opportunity that the market gives; which is none at the moment.
Its sad, after putting your heart and soul into something and at the end of the day, it accounts for nothing. Will start job hunting asap...
How ironic, the headhunter needs to hunt for jobs..
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Sunday, November 30, 2008
In retrospect..
I missed being a student...sigh.. I missed waking up when its 2pm and sleep when its 6am...i miss all of it...
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Closures
Do you ever had the feeling that you need to close some chapters of your life badly? I do, without closure.. i find it hard to move on. Indecisiveness is a trait that i would like to discard for good, but sometimes when it comes to heart strings being tugged, you cant help but be indecisive.
Life as it seems is a tad too simple for me this days. Goals and ambition has been intertwined with money and getting out of the rat race. I need closure to move on. And i did get some this week and hopefully some next week.
But my past has always come back and bite me in the ass, no matter how hard i try to accommodate or avoid it, it still hurts. To me, its the little things in life that matters the most. A simple smile or a compliment goes a long way. I have bore the brunt of being the joke with friends for god knows how long. But I don't mind, because I've gotten accustomed with it. Nicknames and derogatory remarks i usually shrugged off with the simplest of ease.
But it hurts badly, when someone close to you choose to take the low road and bombard you with cheap shots. I don't mind, because of that person's actions, I have found the closure I need to move on. I've tried very very hard to keep in touch with my friends. No matter of what creed and race, I tried...sometimes too hard.
Recently went out to dinner with 2 old friends. They said I've change. To a certain extent i did. What strikes me the most about old friends is that, they still think and assume you were the same person before. Even though there is no apparent physical change, they assume you are still the same.
The only thing that is permanent is change. People evolve and grow, they don't stagnate at a certain point for quite long. Growing older is mandatory yet I don't see a lot of people growing up. I remember a debater friend finely put in an argument where he applied the Normal graph. Problem is, i do not know how many plateaus i must hit before i reach my peak, or how many before I fall. This plateau I'm facing now in life is interesting and challenging. I'm concentrating a lot on work which is challenging and interesting in nature. I get to meet CEOs and top management level people of all sorts of company. I genuinely enjoy my line of work regardless of monetary gains. However I need closure on certain issues, and thank God I got them.
Life as it seems is a tad too simple for me this days. Goals and ambition has been intertwined with money and getting out of the rat race. I need closure to move on. And i did get some this week and hopefully some next week.
But my past has always come back and bite me in the ass, no matter how hard i try to accommodate or avoid it, it still hurts. To me, its the little things in life that matters the most. A simple smile or a compliment goes a long way. I have bore the brunt of being the joke with friends for god knows how long. But I don't mind, because I've gotten accustomed with it. Nicknames and derogatory remarks i usually shrugged off with the simplest of ease.
But it hurts badly, when someone close to you choose to take the low road and bombard you with cheap shots. I don't mind, because of that person's actions, I have found the closure I need to move on. I've tried very very hard to keep in touch with my friends. No matter of what creed and race, I tried...sometimes too hard.
Recently went out to dinner with 2 old friends. They said I've change. To a certain extent i did. What strikes me the most about old friends is that, they still think and assume you were the same person before. Even though there is no apparent physical change, they assume you are still the same.
The only thing that is permanent is change. People evolve and grow, they don't stagnate at a certain point for quite long. Growing older is mandatory yet I don't see a lot of people growing up. I remember a debater friend finely put in an argument where he applied the Normal graph. Problem is, i do not know how many plateaus i must hit before i reach my peak, or how many before I fall. This plateau I'm facing now in life is interesting and challenging. I'm concentrating a lot on work which is challenging and interesting in nature. I get to meet CEOs and top management level people of all sorts of company. I genuinely enjoy my line of work regardless of monetary gains. However I need closure on certain issues, and thank God I got them.
It's sad in a sense that, my love life has hit rock bottom. haha. but all is good. I've gotten a closure on a very long and painful issue. So I'm happy. But life is never kind...will never be kind and when you down for the count, some idiot will spit on your face. I'm ok. I've mastered the art of laughing at yourself and too a certain extent, ridicule for life. Its all or nothing. I'll be a milionaire before im 35 or i will die trying. I've gotten very gung ho about things. Im not sure whether its for the better or worse...But time will tell if I made the right choices and I close the right chapters in my life. Cheers!!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
In Memory of Cien Yang
It has been somewhat a very paradoxical week for me. I've attended 2 wakes in a space of a week. One is Jia Sheng's late grandmother wake and the other one was for a good friend by the name of Teoh Cien Yang. Its paradoxical that you only realize how much the person is worth to you when you when they are gone. Its paradoxical that you only realize that the person closest to you doesnt always have to be the person you knew longer...
It was a heart wrenching site as I saw Cien Yang's body twice... The 1st time was with Noel, Yen Chong and Stefan...blood was oozing out from his nose. As they have already nailed the casket, they couldnt clean it.
The 2nd time was with Kelly, who was my junior in UKM. She and two of her friends Steph and Lynn (im not sure how to spell her name) flew down from KL as soon as she heard about the news. Kelly only knew Cien Yang for 4 months.
Again it was a fate worst than death for me, to actually bring them to Cien Yang's body to pay their respects. They cried, they were stupified and they wallowed in grief. I try keeping a brave face all the time. Eventually a tear or 2 came out and I went for a fag.
His nickname for me in Free School was fat f**k, and my nickname for him was short f**k. We were close because of 2 things, 1. The Editorial Board and 2. Only heroes will only heroes. Haha, sounds a bit of cliche, but ya in other words only the cheeky ones will know the cheeky ones. I finally found courage to step up to the coffin again and told him in my heart that "You'll be nice up there ya, short f**k"
It was also paradoxical that Usain Bolt broke the world record yesterday, being the 100m wasnt his pet event. It was paradoxical that after all the free spending all summer long, Totenham would lose to Boro. It was paradoxical that in death you will find life and vice versa...
Hopefully, Lee Chong Wei would win Gold in the men's badminton final later...Hopefully... I dont know what to believe or what to say these days.
And ya, thank you to all who came to my convocation last Sunday in UKM, really appreciate it. Last but not least, Kelly if you reading this. Remember ya, life must go on!!
His nickname for me in Free School was fat f**k, and my nickname for him was short f**k. We were close because of 2 things, 1. The Editorial Board and 2. Only heroes will only heroes. Haha, sounds a bit of cliche, but ya in other words only the cheeky ones will know the cheeky ones. I finally found courage to step up to the coffin again and told him in my heart that "You'll be nice up there ya, short f**k"
It was also paradoxical that Usain Bolt broke the world record yesterday, being the 100m wasnt his pet event. It was paradoxical that after all the free spending all summer long, Totenham would lose to Boro. It was paradoxical that in death you will find life and vice versa...
Hopefully, Lee Chong Wei would win Gold in the men's badminton final later...Hopefully... I dont know what to believe or what to say these days.
And ya, thank you to all who came to my convocation last Sunday in UKM, really appreciate it. Last but not least, Kelly if you reading this. Remember ya, life must go on!!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Rising cost of living
78 cents increase per litre, well..its not much when compared to the oil prices around the southeast asian region. Thailand has a petrol price of RM 4.00 per litre while philipines is around there too.. True, it will be costlier now to travel. The REBATE of rm625 is insufficient to cover the petrol hike for most Malaysians. But, considering the fact that its USD 130 per barrel of oil now, i sincerely think its the right move to take by the government. Subsidies must be better allocated rather than spending around 56 billion a year on petrol subsidies, hopefully the allocation of subsidies this time around will be just and well distributed.
But what I dont get, is the mob mentality of Malaysians who queue up to save RM 16 for a full tank. True, you save...but whats the point of being stuck in the frenzy for oil and subject yourself to a few hours of torture for a full tank of petrol. Its not as if the petrol are free...
I've started working freelance for a friend's company. I will officially start work on the 1st of July. Its essentially a headhunting firm called Yellow Elevator. Its webbased..if you guys are free, visit the website. If anyone needs a job or a better one, give me a call or msg me.. I will try my sincere best to recommend you for the designated job. The system is also launching in Singapore, HK, Australia, Thailand and Dubai around the same time. So feel free to contact me.
But the pay is a bit on the low side..its just 1.5K per month. But i have a company phone and that i can claim 40 cents per litre of petrol...considering the rise of the petrol prices, hell its not looking good at all..but hey, im in for the experience and maybe i will find a better job in the future. But for the next 3-5 years, i see myself commiting fully to the cause of Yellow Elevator.
Hopefully, i'll be able to afford petrol when it rises to RM 4.00 per litre in the future. =)
But what I dont get, is the mob mentality of Malaysians who queue up to save RM 16 for a full tank. True, you save...but whats the point of being stuck in the frenzy for oil and subject yourself to a few hours of torture for a full tank of petrol. Its not as if the petrol are free...
I've started working freelance for a friend's company. I will officially start work on the 1st of July. Its essentially a headhunting firm called Yellow Elevator. Its webbased..if you guys are free, visit the website. If anyone needs a job or a better one, give me a call or msg me.. I will try my sincere best to recommend you for the designated job. The system is also launching in Singapore, HK, Australia, Thailand and Dubai around the same time. So feel free to contact me.
But the pay is a bit on the low side..its just 1.5K per month. But i have a company phone and that i can claim 40 cents per litre of petrol...considering the rise of the petrol prices, hell its not looking good at all..but hey, im in for the experience and maybe i will find a better job in the future. But for the next 3-5 years, i see myself commiting fully to the cause of Yellow Elevator.
Hopefully, i'll be able to afford petrol when it rises to RM 4.00 per litre in the future. =)
Friday, May 16, 2008
HOME
Haih, going back to penang...finally, for good?Who knows..will pick my fights properly now. Life is full of possibilities and I will have to grab them as they come along..Till then. I will be on a hiatus as there are no internet connections in my humble abode in penang..
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
New Challenges
Life has been kind to me in the recent week, ive gotten verbal approval for my RA position under my current thesis supervisor, patched up my relationship and hopefully its stronger now and will be driving in campus from April onwards..Yeah, so life has been kind to me yet again.
The challenges that i will face are daunting, im finally moving into a career albeit slowly. Maintaining a Long Distance Relationship will be much harder now, and completing my thesis which has been anything but satisfactory...
Thank god, i still have responsive friends who reacts accordingly when I need help. Thank you for being in my life, and I will always be grateful.
Debating has stalled a bit but Im involved in my college dinner, so far the marketing department that is under my supervision has done a great job and so a great burden has been lifted from my shoulders..Hopefully I can become a college fellow next semester in order to obtain free accommodation as I continue my MSc.
I miss penang, my parents and my gf but there is nothing in my power to be back home for a long a period of time. Needless to say, there has been nagging and I've gotten used to it after all this years...
I've shaved my head bald again in hopes to start afresh on things that are in my life...Life changing moments dont come that often and I sincerely pray to God that he gives me the strength to move on and come out on top...
Men react differently when they are in the eye of the storm, some are dumb with fear, others panic but some soar like eagles above the storm riding the wind..Hopefully I can be an eagle.. =)
The challenges that i will face are daunting, im finally moving into a career albeit slowly. Maintaining a Long Distance Relationship will be much harder now, and completing my thesis which has been anything but satisfactory...
Thank god, i still have responsive friends who reacts accordingly when I need help. Thank you for being in my life, and I will always be grateful.
Debating has stalled a bit but Im involved in my college dinner, so far the marketing department that is under my supervision has done a great job and so a great burden has been lifted from my shoulders..Hopefully I can become a college fellow next semester in order to obtain free accommodation as I continue my MSc.
I miss penang, my parents and my gf but there is nothing in my power to be back home for a long a period of time. Needless to say, there has been nagging and I've gotten used to it after all this years...
I've shaved my head bald again in hopes to start afresh on things that are in my life...Life changing moments dont come that often and I sincerely pray to God that he gives me the strength to move on and come out on top...
Men react differently when they are in the eye of the storm, some are dumb with fear, others panic but some soar like eagles above the storm riding the wind..Hopefully I can be an eagle.. =)
Saturday, January 5, 2008
new
a new semester has started..but i dont feel like studying...
a new year has begun, but i dont feel like a brand new person
haih
a new year has begun, but i dont feel like a brand new person
haih
Sunday, December 16, 2007
now, after all this while...
IM GOING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes im going home, cant wait to see my parents, my gf and pick up my sis from the airport on the 22nd of this month, yes im going home....
Hokkien Mee, char koay teow, nasi kandar, aarrggghhh there are too many things i wanna eat back in penang...too many things already.....FOODDDDD....
Penang here I come!!!
Yes im going home, cant wait to see my parents, my gf and pick up my sis from the airport on the 22nd of this month, yes im going home....
Hokkien Mee, char koay teow, nasi kandar, aarrggghhh there are too many things i wanna eat back in penang...too many things already.....FOODDDDD....
Penang here I come!!!
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
sanctity of life
perhaps ive been away from home for far too long..my dad refuses to do his therapy..my mom and sis gave me a piece of their mind..and i..i cried for the first time after a very long time...
what is life..what is the meaning of life..is it being with someone you love..but if you cant be with them physically. does it mean you dont love them?
my hands are tied..sad to a certain extent..my hands are tied..whatever the reasons i cant go home..hah..Daughtry's Home is playing at the background as Im typing this..feeling useless as a son who cant help his dad..a son who cant ease the burden of my mom..a bf who cant show love to a gf...a brother who seems so distant from the sister..
my heart strings are burnt..maybe i smoke too much..cutting down alot already..my lab work is a mess..i need to do it at night from 5 pm not in the day..sad, but what to do..survival of the fittest
the loneliness of staying in a room in a hostel where there are just so little people..the laughter has disappeared form me, the joy is lacking in me..all i have now is misery and emptiness...
what is the sanctity of life then?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
