Do you ever had the feeling that you need to close some chapters of your life badly? I do, without closure.. i find it hard to move on. Indecisiveness is a trait that i would like to discard for good, but sometimes when it comes to heart strings being tugged, you cant help but be indecisive.
Life as it seems is a tad too simple for me this days. Goals and ambition has been intertwined with money and getting out of the rat race. I need closure to move on. And i did get some this week and hopefully some next week.
But my past has always come back and bite me in the ass, no matter how hard i try to accommodate or avoid it, it still hurts. To me, its the little things in life that matters the most. A simple smile or a compliment goes a long way. I have bore the brunt of being the joke with friends for god knows how long. But I don't mind, because I've gotten accustomed with it. Nicknames and derogatory remarks i usually shrugged off with the simplest of ease.
But it hurts badly, when someone close to you choose to take the low road and bombard you with cheap shots. I don't mind, because of that person's actions, I have found the closure I need to move on. I've tried very very hard to keep in touch with my friends. No matter of what creed and race, I tried...sometimes too hard.
Recently went out to dinner with 2 old friends. They said I've change. To a certain extent i did. What strikes me the most about old friends is that, they still think and assume you were the same person before. Even though there is no apparent physical change, they assume you are still the same.
The only thing that is permanent is change. People evolve and grow, they don't stagnate at a certain point for quite long. Growing older is mandatory yet I don't see a lot of people growing up. I remember a debater friend finely put in an argument where he applied the Normal graph. Problem is, i do not know how many plateaus i must hit before i reach my peak, or how many before I fall. This plateau I'm facing now in life is interesting and challenging. I'm concentrating a lot on work which is challenging and interesting in nature. I get to meet CEOs and top management level people of all sorts of company. I genuinely enjoy my line of work regardless of monetary gains. However I need closure on certain issues, and thank God I got them.
Life as it seems is a tad too simple for me this days. Goals and ambition has been intertwined with money and getting out of the rat race. I need closure to move on. And i did get some this week and hopefully some next week.
But my past has always come back and bite me in the ass, no matter how hard i try to accommodate or avoid it, it still hurts. To me, its the little things in life that matters the most. A simple smile or a compliment goes a long way. I have bore the brunt of being the joke with friends for god knows how long. But I don't mind, because I've gotten accustomed with it. Nicknames and derogatory remarks i usually shrugged off with the simplest of ease.
But it hurts badly, when someone close to you choose to take the low road and bombard you with cheap shots. I don't mind, because of that person's actions, I have found the closure I need to move on. I've tried very very hard to keep in touch with my friends. No matter of what creed and race, I tried...sometimes too hard.
Recently went out to dinner with 2 old friends. They said I've change. To a certain extent i did. What strikes me the most about old friends is that, they still think and assume you were the same person before. Even though there is no apparent physical change, they assume you are still the same.
The only thing that is permanent is change. People evolve and grow, they don't stagnate at a certain point for quite long. Growing older is mandatory yet I don't see a lot of people growing up. I remember a debater friend finely put in an argument where he applied the Normal graph. Problem is, i do not know how many plateaus i must hit before i reach my peak, or how many before I fall. This plateau I'm facing now in life is interesting and challenging. I'm concentrating a lot on work which is challenging and interesting in nature. I get to meet CEOs and top management level people of all sorts of company. I genuinely enjoy my line of work regardless of monetary gains. However I need closure on certain issues, and thank God I got them.
It's sad in a sense that, my love life has hit rock bottom. haha. but all is good. I've gotten a closure on a very long and painful issue. So I'm happy. But life is never kind...will never be kind and when you down for the count, some idiot will spit on your face. I'm ok. I've mastered the art of laughing at yourself and too a certain extent, ridicule for life. Its all or nothing. I'll be a milionaire before im 35 or i will die trying. I've gotten very gung ho about things. Im not sure whether its for the better or worse...But time will tell if I made the right choices and I close the right chapters in my life. Cheers!!
